Sunset Eyes
by PoptartGladiator
Summary: Just a normal girl who likes to drink and play with cats all day long. Likes to hang out with her friends and play video games. Loves this guy, but hates that this guy will probably never be able to love her back. She still loves him though, and she always will. Highschool AU. DirkxRoxy
1. Chapter 1

Her drink sloshed in its glass as she swirled it, watching the small whirlpool being made. She was hanging around her house, bored after a long day of school and then arriving home to play video games and do, well, nothing. This was her third drink of the night.

Often times, if she was bored, she'd drink. That also applied to many of her other moods; celebratory, sad, etc. Any hour was drinking hour; she loved to drink. Recently, though, her close friend, Dirk Strider, had convinced her to lay off, and she'd managed to stop drinking in the morning, or late into the night. It used to be that she had a bottle by her bed at all times, but now she forced herself to get up and re-pour the glass, which, face it, required more effort than she wanted to expend in the first place. She'd had a long day, though, and was able to tell herself that a few extra drinks were allowed.

Now that she was thinking of Dirk, she smiled, and ceased the endless swirling of the alcohol in her hand. Staring into the liquid abyss, the orangey color reminded her of the boy even more. His eyes, which she'd only seen one time in her life, were a beautiful shade of the color. Every night, she watched the sunset, thinking of him. He was, she'd decided years ago, the love of her life.

Logging onto her computer, she opened Pesterchum and began to pester the previously mentioned man. They'd been friends for years, ever since they'd met in the beginning of middle school, both being quite the social outcasts. She'd come into school drunk, falling around in the hallway and making a general mess of herself. Dirk, who wore his pointy anime glasses 24/7, basically hated everyone. His ice cold attitude had earned the hatred of everyone else in return. Oh, look, the chat application had finally opened.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: ddiiiiiiiiccck

TG: * dick

TG: * DIRK

TT: Jeez, Roxy. Are you drunk?

TG: nah jus tispy

TG: * tsipy

TG: * man fukc typos

TT: Haha.

TT: What are you up to, Rox?

TG: mmmmmm nothin much, sippin on this drink n p much doin nothn

TG: u?

TT: Um, talking with Jake, actually.

TT: Conversations with him have been making me extra-nervous, recently.

Ah, damn, that's right, the girl, Roxy thought. Jake was another great male friend. A first class gentlemen, he was an amazing friend, if a little oblivious and accidentally douchey. They'd met him at the beginning of high school, two years before. That was also the time they'd met their other friend, Jane. Roxy had always wanted a girl as a friend, because, let's face it, she couldn't talk to Dirk about certain things for obvious reasons. They'd all grown very close with each other in that time, though Jane & Roxy and Jake & Dirk especially.

A little too close, Roxy thought, frowning. She'd known for a while that Dirk's sexual orientation drifted far to the left of a straight line, but she hadn't seemed to truly believe it in her years of blissful ignorance. Until Jake showed up, she'd foolishly allowed herself to believe that she had a good shot with Dirk. She blushed thinking of the number of times she'd written "Mrs. Strider" in a notebook, shoved into the corner of her basement, back in middle school.

Dirk had had the hots for Jake for a few months. Hell, he could have been into Jake for even longer. Roxy hadn't even found out until Dirk told her, in confidence. The hangover the next day had forced her to stay home from school. For a while after that, she was very depressed and distraught, until she'd confided in Jane about what had happened.

Turns out that, for a few months herself, Jane had had her own feelings for Jake buried. Roxy, shocked, quickly tried to sober up and understand that this could mean the loss of a love for her friend as well. They slept over Jane's house, trying and failing to convince each other that boys were stupid and worthless, but happy for each other's support and company nonetheless.

A round of blips emanating from the speakers seemed to pull Roxy's head out of the stars and back to the reality of Dirk's messages.

TT: Rox?

TT: Rooooxxxyyyyy.

TT: Roxy, where have you gone.

TT: Roxxxxyyyy come bacccck.

TG: clam down dikr im here

TG: cudnt get enougha me couldja

TT: My heart aches with the absence of the fabulous Ms. Lalonde.

Smiling bitterly, Roxy recalled many of the times she'd attempted to send Dirk signals, in hopes that they might go noticed and, hopefully, reciprocated. Days where she joked about what their kids might look like, how "funny" it would be if they got married; you name it. It seemed as if she'd tried every trick in the book, and the oblivious Strider had either been just that, or chosen to ignore her advances out of fear of what would happen if he acknowledged them.

Either way, it made her heart swell when he said things like this. Her heart fluttered and jumped as if she was having a heart attack. Not the best example, but it brought the nostalgic moment of the first time it happened back into her mind. She'd tripped on the sidewalk again, after school, since Dirk and her were staying after to complete some work they'd goofed off on. Roxy's head had been spinning from hungover vertigo. She'd scraped her knee pretty badly, and was barely biting back tears. Dirk's hand landed worriedly on her shoulder, and she glanced up at a face usually void of emotion to see knit eyebrows and a rather intense frown looking her way.

Attempting to rise, she hissed and a single tear slid out. Quickly wiping it away, she turned to Dirk and asked for a hand. He, though, had figured to do even better than that, and, picking her up bridal style, he ran her back to his house to clean the wound and bandage it. That had also marked the remarkable occasion as the first time she'd been to his appartment, laughably filled with puppets and swords.

TT: Damn, Roxy, are you busy or something?

TT: We can talk later, if you want.

TG: nooo nooooooooo diiirk im juss sorta daydreaming

TG: but it's liek night tiem, so i guss im night dreamin

TG: wich i guess wud jus be dreamn

TG: lol :3

TT: What are you "night dreaming" about?

TG: uhhhhhh ssstuff

TG: hehe

TT: The plot thickens. Well, I suppose you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

TG: weeell it dont mattre, u got ma undivdied attentun now

TG: *undivided *attenshon

TG: * jus nevrmind my typsos

TG: anywya how is ur talk w jakey goin?

TT: Oh. Um. That.

TT: I guess it's just a normal conversation, but, like I said, every little thing I do with him now seems to send me off the edge on an anxiety attack.

TG: is all dat gentlemanly charm drik

TT: Eheh, yeah.

TT: Anyways, I think I'm gonna...

TG: hmmmmm?

TT: Gonna make my move soon.

And just like that, her heart had shattered for the nth time all because of none other than the brilliant Dirk Strider. Breathing deeply, she placed her drink on the table after taking a swig and turned back towards the computer.

TG: huh

TG: bout time if i do sy so maself

TG: * say

TT: You think so?

TG: waitin isny gonna make anythin happn

TG: gotta do somethn about it

TG: now sounds s gooda tiem as evr.

TT: Yeah, you're right. I suppose I'll do it within the next few days. Anways, I think I need to prepare myself a little before then.

TG: sure thang strida

TG: hey u wanna come hang aftr school w the group n play vid gmes?

TT: That sounds great.

TT: On that note, I've got to get to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Rox. Rememer to lay off the drinks.

TG: niiiiiigigght

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

Well, damn, she'd been planning on drinking a bit more after that rather draining conversation, but it almost felt like she was betraying him after he asked her not to. She sighed. Such was the power of Dirk Strider.

Stripping down, she picked out a loose t-shirt and some pants, wiped all of her makeup off, and snuck under the covers of her bed. She was upset by these recent developments, but couldn't help and look forward to the video game marathon tomorrow. Soon, her breathing evened out and she was asleep.

Finally the school day was over. Roxy, taking a drink from the water fountain to help ease her slight hangover somewhat, was glad that half of the week was over. She had convinced Jane and Jake to come over tonight, and looked for Jane and Dirk, having shared last period with Jake.

Soon enough, they were all sitting on her plush, light pink carpet, versing each other in Super Smash Bros. Melee. Roxy had a thing for slightly older games, and adored her NES, Gamecube, and other systems to death. All four of them shared a love for video games, and it was one of the things that brought their small band of misfits together.

The time flew as they screamed and fought and laughed until they cried. Eventually, Jane and Jake had left, having to return home. Jane's father inflicted a rather strict curfew, and Jake lived a ways away, near the water, and needed more time to get home.

At some point, they'd moved onto Brawl, and Dirk and Roxy were fighting to the death, both pros at the game. A character tripped on screen, causing a series of accidents, ending in Roxy's explosion, and K.O. She screamed at the tv, but was laughing at the same time, unable to contain her enjoyment of the whole situation. She wished it could stay like this forever. Sitting around with Dirk, the one she loved, and not having to do anything; no obligations, just able to spend time with him. She didn't even care what they were doing, though video games improved the situation.

At this point, even Dirk was beginning to tear up. He turned away to remove his glasses and wipe his eyes, a deep sound created by his vocal cords. Roxy, distracted by the removal of his glasses, slowed in her laughter, peering at him, hoping to get a glimpse of the orange pools he was constantly intent in hiding.

Masterfully, though, he slipped them on as he turned around, allowing not even a peek at his beautiful, amber eyes. She pouted, and he grinned at her, knowing of her obsession with stealing away his glasses. He probably believed she just wanted to be funny or silly. She knew it was because the obsession was not with retrieving his glasses, but being able to see what was underneath.

Roxy didn't understand how anyone could have eyes that amazing. Well, to be honest, her eyes were a strange shade of pink, but that wasn't amazing, just unique. Pink was a fine color, a favorite of hers, actually, but her eyes just didn't have that depth of his. Apparently Dirk's brother also had strange, red eyes, which she imagined were almost as beautiful as Dirk's.

Standing up, suddenly, she announced that she needed to take a shower if she wanted to get out in time for her hair to dry before bed. She didn't want to kick Dirk out, but he couldn't stay forever, and she knew he'd be content sitting there playing the game with her the whole night otherwise.

He nodded. "Lemme just try out this new character for a bit, and I'll get going."

She smiled in return and left the room. She trusted him with her house. She trusted him with everything, actually. Jane was the only other person she trusted as much, and Jake was trustworthy, but he could also be stupid sometimes, and not think about his actions - like the time she'd asked him to grab a drink and he'd handed her vinegar instead. It hadn't even been a prank, just a simple mistake. The pranks were Jane's territory.

Roxy closed the door, peeling off her jeans and shirt, and slipping into the steaming hot water of the shower. Letting the water run through her hair, she wondered if Dirk had left yet. It'd only be a few minutes, and he was usually gone at this point. She also wondered if he was still there. The thought of Dirk sitting only about 30 feet away made her flush a deep red, her face somehow heating up hotter than the environment around her.

After another 10 minutes or so, she was shaved, shampooed, and conditioned, and decided it was time to step out of the shower. Damn, those things are so relaxing, she decided. Continuing to sing the same stupid lyrics of some random song she'd had stuck in her head, Roxy wrapped a towel around her, wringing leftover water out of her hair and carelessly onto the floor as she proceeded back towards her room.

Opening the door, she stepped in and then closed it, turning towards the interior of her bedroom. With a shock, she stopped singing and walking, and froze in place when she spotted Dirk sitting in the same position, his head quickly snapping around at the sound of her loud, obnoxious entry. She knew it had been obnoxious because by the time she had reached her room, she had been jammin' to the tune, singing in a monotone that should just stick to speech. Two seconds more and she'd have grabbed a hairbrush to pretend-enhance the volume of her solo.

He stared at her for a few moments, before turning even redder than she had been and flipping his head back towards the screen, his face shoving itself into his open hands.

"Oh my god, Roxy, I'm so sorry, I thought it had only been a few minutes - I - I..." he trailed off. He took Roxy's silence as anger, and as quick as she'd ever seen him, he grabbed his backpack, jacket, and hat, and flew out the door. "I - I'll be outside for a second."

The situation finally ran from her optical sensors to her brain, and, attempting to understand what had just transpired, she blushed and fell onto her bed.

Oh how she wished she'd had a camera to snap a picture of his flushed face back there. That was the first time she'd ever seen him so embarrassed, even when he'd been pretty embarrassed with Jake. With a sigh, though, she went back to accepting the fact that his embarrassment was simply due to the fact that he was not as cool as he let out on the exterior, rather than actually being attracted her. Far as she knew, that boy was as gay as a rainbow.

She slowly got (un)dressed into her pajamas, half-hoping that Dirk had disappeared already so that she didn't have to face him. Another half of her didn't want him to leave. Never wanted him to leave.

As Roxy stepped into the kitchen, she saw him sitting at the kitchen table, facing away from her and, literally, twiddling his thumbs. Dirk's head snapped backwards as she stepped in and took a seat across from him.

"Rox, I'm real sor-" he began, but was interrupted by the very girl he was speaking to.

"Man, don't worry about it. It was my fault anyways. I should have thought about the fact that you could still be there, and it's ok. I was just wearin' a towel and singin' like a doofus. I wasn't stark naked and pickin' my nose or nothin'. Well, not like I wouldn't walk in pickin' my nose, cuz hell if I ain't gonna be just that classy."

Dirk smiled at Roxy's thorough apology, and ceased the nervous hand motions.

"Alright, but I still feel bad. I guess I'll have to make it up to you. How bout... you get to wear my glasses for a minute? I saw you, so you get to see me," he replied, a small, sideways grin painting his face.

A smile cracked across Roxy's face like lightning.

"Oh my FUCK. That would be amazing!" she squealed, quickly grabbing the pointed spectacles off his face and slapping them upon her own.

His orange eyes, startled, quickly settled down into what she could assume was his usual cool demeanor. She rested her chin on her hand, content to stare deep into his eyes for what might be the last time. If Jake agreed to going out with him, she had no idea what might happen between them. For all she knew, Dirk could toss her to the side like used rags. She did trust him, though, to stay and be at least her friend. She could be satisfied with that. As long as he was there, as long as he was happy.

"Why don't you just snap a picture to capture the moment?" Dirk joked, his eyes lighting up his features even more than usual. She wondered how many other people had seen these miracles, how many other people had been allowed to behold this. She held the fantasy that she was someone special to have beheld his eyes close to her heart. His eyes, god, his eyes. His best feature, and damn did he have some nice features.

A playful smirk decorated Roxy's mouth and she quickly slid into the seat next to dirk, whipped out her camera phone, and snapped a picture of them. Sounds of protest were heard from Dirk, but alas, it was too late to hide his eyes from being recorded on camera. Roxy, inspecting the picture, saw herself giving a triumphant smile, topped off with glasses that looked ridiculous on her, but worked too friggin' well on Dirk. In the picture, said love interest had a slightly startled look on his face, his gorgeous eyes wide with panic. Hilarious, adorable panic.

"Dammit, Roxy, I was joking!" he complained, punching her very lightly on the shoulder as she simply stuck her tongue out at him. "Delete it!"

"Are you shittin' me? Why would I delete this? It's proof that I weaseled you out of your precious glasses and now we get to see those pretty suns o' yours!" Roxy exclaimed, hopping out of her chair and waving the image in his face.

Dirk smiled ever so slightly at the compliment. "Alright, you win."

"That's right, I won, and this is my award." If this was a trophy, it was the best reward she'd ever gotten. She reminded herself to make copies of this later so she'd never lose it. "I'll do you a favor, though, and keep it to myself."

He nodded, thanking her quietly. She was really just doing this for selfish reasons; again holding fast to the belief that his eyes were a special treat just for her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Blargggh," Roxy grumbled as she sat down, her tray packed with cafeteria food. Dirk glanced her way from across the table before resuming to type on his laptop. "Hey," he greeted her, typing rapidly

"Whatcha up to?" she asked him, picking up a French fry and slowly nibbling on it.

"Working on a program for the AR," he replied. "I think he's got a virus."

"Well I hope you fix him soon, cuz he's a pretty fun dude," Roxy responded, discreetly slipping a bit of vodka into her orange juice.

"Don't think I didn't see that," Dirk chided, ceasing in his typing and presumably glaring at her through his dark shades. She pouted, but sipped on the spiked drink nonetheless.

After a bit of silence, broken only by the clicking of keys on the Striders' keyboard and occasional munching on Roxy's end, a quiet 'dammit' was heard, along with an awful lot of backspacing.

"What's wrong, Dirky?" Roxy asked through a mouthful of chicken. He continued to type, slower now, as he replied. "It's this one part I can't seem to code quite right."

"Lucky you, who happens to be friends with the worlds best hacker chick," Roxy said with a wink. "Let me see it."

After a long moment of contemplation on Dirk's part, he finally shrugged and turned his laptop around towards her.

Before she started typing, though, she noticed a part of his background was showing. It looked like her trademark scarf, which her younger cousin, Rose, had knitted for her. Her and Rose had always been rather close, and she liked to hang out with the kid whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Needless to say, she was curious about the picture, and quickly minimized the client to see a very pretty picture of her, Jane, and Jake, all talking animatedly. Dirk must have snapped it when none of them were looking. Roxy almost cracked a grin, but realized Dirk must have been watching her, waiting for her to begin typing, and so she quickly opened the program he'd been working on once more and reading over it.

Living up to her self proclaimed title; Roxy was able to find his problem immediately and fix it, even improving it just a little before handing the computer back and giving a quick diagnosis. Dirk thanked her, reading it over and then proceeding to type a million miles a second.

Roxy slouched, resting her chin on her palm and staring absentmindedly at her food. She allowed herself to finally smile at Dirk's background, enjoying the fact that he loved each one of his friends so much. Even if she was just a friend, she was close to him; a type of closeness beyond words.

"Where's Jane?" she asked, suddenly aware of their bright, electric-blue-loving friend's absence.

"Had to stay after to do some work she missed or something," Dirk replied, still staring intently at his work. She didn't ask about Jake because he didn't share the same lunch period as them, though he had the one immediately after and usually sat with them for a few minutes between bells.

"Ah," Roxy muttered simply, as Dirk finished typing and closed his laptop.

"Well, that's enough of that. I'll finish it when I go home," he supplied Roxy's slightly quizzical look. They resumed feeding themselves as they talked about random, mostly useless things. Roxy loved these kinds of moments, when her and Dirk were alone (or as alone as you could be in a cafeteria crowded with obnoxious teenagers) and she didn't have to feel the pressure of being chosen over Jake.

It seemed like a constant in her life now, a reminder that she'd never be good enough. She'd slowly come to accept it, though, and was able to cope with it much better than before. In a sudden burst of courage (or stupidity, she couldn't decide), she grabbed her bag during a gap in the conversation.

"It's been lovely talking with you, Mr. Strider, but I fear I must bid you farewell now." Roxy curtsied in a most ironic way, holding out the tips of her skirt just slightly with both hands and bending her converse laden foot behind the other.

Standing, Dirk reacted with a similarly superfluous gesture, bowing very low and making ridiculous hand movements. "And thus I must bid you a good day, mademoiselle ." When he looked up and grinned crookedly at her, Roxy couldn't help the snort let loose from her nasal cavity.

"Ah, damn, Dirk, this medieval shit gets me every time!" she exclaimed, continuing to giggle as she threw her messenger bag over one shoulder. He replied with a small chuckle as he sat down.

"Where are you going, leaving me here alone like this?" he complained superficially, eyes probably shining behind pointed spectacles.

Reaching over to give him a quick pat on the head, receiving a low growl in return, she said, "Where I'm going isn't important. What's important is that I'm giving you some free time with Jake, so you can, you know, maybe get over yourself and ask the oblivious jerk out."

Dirk seemed to sober up quickly at this, smiles and laughter gone in an instant. "Roxy, I really don't think I'm ready for that…"

"Ah, nonsense. This might be the only chance you get in a while. Oh, shit, here he comes now! Make sure to tell your best friend all about it!" she giggled, skipping away. "Oh, and by best friend I obviously mean me. Don't get all sarcastic on me, Strider! Good luck!"

Roxy ran out of the cafeteria a little quicker than expected, needing to get away from the situation. She hated this, she hated doing this, but it was obviously going to happen soon anyways, and she didn't feel like antagonizing herself over the worry of waiting. She felt the need to support Dirk in his endeavors, whatever they may be.

Hopefully, Jake might reject him and they could all move on with their lives. Part of the blonde haired girl's mind also knew that this meant Dirk would be very uncomfortable and upset for a very long time, since this was his first love. Seeing Dirk sad broke her heart more than anything else, even if it meant losing him to another.

Whatever happened, it was a lose-lose situation. She strode down the empty hallway, her strides becoming larger and angrier as she went. Kicking a locker with her rather unprotected feet, she hissed in pain, quickly jogging away. She needed to get the hell outta there and grab a drink before she did something she regretted. This was inevitable, whether she liked it or not. She needed to let it happen.

"Roxy? Good gracious, Roxy, are you ok?" a familiar, feminine voice piped up, getting louder as its owner got closer to the pink-clad girl. Roxy slowed down, knowing the voice to be none other than Jane Crocker's, her other best friend. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed, defeated, as her BFFL placed a kind hand on her shoulder.

"Something happen?" Jane asked, concern evident in her wide eyes.

"Yeah," Roxy muttered. "Trying to face the facts and get over Dirk. Though we all know that's never going to happen. If Dirk listens to a damn word I say, there's an 80% chance he's in that cafeteria right now, confessing his undying love to Jake."

Jane halted, face contorting in confusion and panic. "But, I don't understand, what do you mean 'listen to a word you say'? Are you sure he's confessing right now? Why now?" Jane rambled, worried about what would happen if her crush, Jake, reciprocated Dirk's feelings.

A sigh depicting the weight on Roxy's shoulders was released, as she stopped next to Jane and turned to face her. "It means," she began, "that I encouraged it. Told him to go through with it."

Jane simply remained looking confused, sparing a few quick glances towards the cafeteria. Roxy turned towards the school doors, continuing at a slow pace.

"I'm pretty sure I convinced Dirk to confess to Jake. We all knew this was coming, and I figured we needed to stop _waiting_ and get something god damn done around here," she huffed, scarf flying behind her menacingly.

"Oh…" Jane whispered dejectedly. "Roxy, don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure Jake is straight, but… well, I wouldn't give it that much thought. Just leave it be and ask Dirk about it later."

"Waiting," she scoffed. "Waiting's fine. I'm just planning on waiting with a few friends of mine; Coors Light and Jack Daniel's," Roxy hissed, pushing the doors open.

"Wait, where are you going? You still have school for the next few hours!" Jane began, trying to drag Roxy back inside.

Roxy paused and gave a long, tired look to Jane. "Tell the nurse I'm sick, or something." Continuing to push the doors open, she simply threw a few more words over her shoulder before disappearing behind the school.

"If it's not true now, it will be soon."

* * *

Roxy stared into the bottom of her liquor bottle, falsely hoping that there was still some in there. She definitely didn't have the motor skills to stumble down into the basement to get more. Damn.

She was hanging upside down, half off the side of her bed. She let the bottle roll out of her hand as she slowly slipped onto the floor. Laying on her plush carpet at a strange angle, she curled into the fetal position and simply stayed like that for a long time. She was about to fall asleep when a string of chimes was heard from her computer. Someplace in her mind was sober enough to alert her that it was her friends, home from school. She wasn't exactly sure, though, her thoughts muffled by the booze.

Roxy pulled herself onto her bed, groaning. Her buzz was beginning to fade and she needed to get some water to dilute the alcohol. Uuuuugh.

When she was finally back onto her mattress, clutching her head, she realized that her laptop was sitting on her desk. Well, shit. Shakily, she put her feet on the floor, and stood.

Slowly and definitely not surely, she made her way to her chair, gripping the edge and sliding into it. She moved her finger over the track pad, bringing the screen to life. It was such a contrast to the dark she'd been sitting in for the past few hours that she flinched away. She lowered the brightness settings and turned her desk lamp on, hand unable to flip the switch on the first few tries.

There was a message from Jane and - oh joy - Dirk. She'd get to that fag later. Oh, damn, did she just think that? The anger welling up in her as she stared at his disgustingly orange screen name was unnatural and uncomfortable. None of this was really his fault. Being gay was fine. She just really wished _he_ wasn't. These thoughts sickened her. She felt horrible, both physically and mentally.

Resting her head on her folded forearms, she sighed. She was being unfair. If it was anyone's fault, it was most definitely hers, and she needed to learn to suck it up and get over it.

Roxy _would_ wait to answer him, though. She figured it could do some good to talk to Jane.

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GG: Roxy!  
GG: :B Roooxxxyyyy.  
GG: I know you're there. Don't you want to talk?  
TG: shhhhhhhhhhgdf  
TG: janey ur hrtn mommas heda  
TG: *eahd  
TG: *heEAD  
GG: Shucks, Roxy. Drunk already?  
TG: yeeaahahh noo shittiit  
GG: :P  
TG: sssorry jany  
TG: * j aney  
TG: not feelin tht gd 2day  
GG: Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.  
GG: How are you doing?  
TG: obv not sso god  
TG: * good  
TG: * god wrks too  
GG: Yeah... I, um, talked to Dirk, earlier.  
GG: Would you like to know what happened?  
TG: hoooooold that thogth  
TG: he mssged me a lil whle ago  
TG: guess ill ask im now  
GG: Alright, let me know when you're done talking with him.  
TG: peaaaaaaaaaaace ot

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

Roxy sighed, hand grabbing the space to her right for a glass of alcohol that wasn't there. Realizing that this was a futile effort, she scoffed and decided to simply woman up and open the chat.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic

TT: Rox!  
TT: Ms. Lalooooonde.  
TT: Message me when you're around.  
TG: yoo  
TT: Oh, hey.  
TT: Guessss whaaaat.  
TG: wut  
TT: I said guess, but I suppose I'll just tell you.  
TT: Jake agreed!

Roxy slid out of her chair and groaned on the floor for a moment. There was a large portion of her that had still been hoping the pistol-crazy doofus would come out straight. After a few more chimes, she pulled herself back into the chair with a dry sob.

TT: Roxy?  
TT: Are you playing a game or something?  
TG: nupee  
TG: jus som ssssstuff  
TT: Alright.  
TT: Well, Jake was reluctant at first, but he said he'd give it a shot. I hope I'll be able to prove myself to him.  
TT: I just wanted to thank you for pushing me along. I might have never told him if you hadn't helped me.

She groaned a loud groan at that. She wondered if she was masochistic.

TG: congrats my blnd bro  
TG: * blond  
TG: * blonde?  
TG: i dk?  
TT: I think it can be used either way?  
TT: I'm not sure either.  
TT: But, again, thank you.  
TG: sall gd man  
TG: gtg tho  
TG: ttyl  
TT: Bye Roxy.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

At this point, she was rapping her knuckles across her skull, which was resting on her desk, wondering why the hell she did that. It was definitely time to console and be consoled by Jane.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: shhhhit ddude  
GG: I know...  
TG: m real sorry  
TG: thisis all my fult  
TG: janey rly i dint men to ruin ur chnces  
GG: Oh, Roxy, it's alright. This was a long time coming and I knew it.  
GG: And yet, I did nothing about it.  
GG: Me not having a chance with Jake is my own frightened fault.  
TG: janey nnuuuuu  
TG: nnnooooooooooo  
GG: Yes. I should have at least let him know, so I didn't have these "what if's" weighing on my shoulders.  
TG: no jany im so srryyy  
TG: ughh i feel terrble  
GG: Don't worry about it.  
GG: I had all that time to let him know, and I didn't. I knew this would happened, but I still didn't take any action.  
TG: neither did i...  
TG: i gs we'll suffr togethe  
TG: *together  
TG: hngg i think i gotta go sleep  
GG: But it's 3:30...  
GG: ...in the afternoon.  
TG: and  
GG: Nevermind.  
GG: Just. Make sure you go get some water into your system.  
GG: I'll see you in school tomorrow?  
TG: uugh fieeeen  
TG: rolal ouuuuuuuuuuttt :(  
GG: Bye D:

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

Roxy shut her computer without even logging off. She stumbled into the bathroom and drank straight from the sink. She brushed her teeth quickly, figuring it might as well be clean before she woke up and hurled. After making her way back into her room, she messily undressed and threw pajamas on.

Her shirt was on backwards, but she couldn't be bothered enough to fix it. Sliding under the covers, she refused to let the salty liquid of tears escape her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Shutting her locker with a groan, Roxy dragged her feet towards the cafeteria. She felt like shit. Unkempt bangs fell in front of her eyes and she didn't bother to brush them back. It was a miracle she'd even been able to continue putting makeup on recently, but that was something she prided herself in.

It had been almost a month since the love of her life and the love of his life had begun to date. Lots of drinking had ensued, but a few days before, Roxy had decided that it was enough. The moping, whining, and feeling sorry for herself had had to stop.

And thus, at this moment, Roxy Lalonde was going through very major withdrawal. She'd cut her addiction cold turkey on the night that Dirk had finally told her about his first kiss with Jake, and it definitely was not going well. She hadn't realized just how much of an alcoholic she'd been until she really quit. It was strange, being able to remember the whole week. She much preferred it.

It wasn't without its side affects, though. She'd been fidgety as hell all week and hadn't had the patience to go home and sit on the computer at night. When she wasn't running, running as far as she could with her iPod blasting in her ears, she was off practicing a hobby she'd picked up a while back.

When her father had been alive, they'd had fun shooting with each other out in the woods. It was then that Roxy had discovered her love for the hunt, the ability to pick off an enemy from over a mile away.

That, of course, wasn't really what she did. Too young to get a gun license and too cheap to pay for ammo, she'd moved on to something similar yet simpler.

It reminded her of times spent with her father. That was back when she was a child, though. She missed him to death, but it seemed her mother missed him in a different way. Mom Lalonde stayed out of the house most of the time, travelling and going to conferences, conventions, and speeches about a very famous book series she'd published. Roxy's mom preferred to stay away from the house, away from Roxy. Away from old memories.

Roxy, however, loved to be reminded of her father. She missed him, but she still loved him. And that was why she arrived home every night, splattered with different colors of paint, panting and drenched in sweat, but happy.

Occasionally, due to the withdrawal symptoms, the excessive or sudden maneuvers of paintball would cause her to vomit, but it was worth it to go home and be able to sleep at the end of the day.

The symptoms didn't quite help her mood, either. She was quite short on items made of glass in her household, now. And she couldn't drink. No matter what she did, she couldn't drink. If she even had so much as a sip, she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself.

And that was why she skipped packing a lunch that day and felt sick to her stomach as she sat down at the cafeteria table.

Sitting down, she glanced at dirk from the corner of her eye. He was doing something on his laptop, like always, a sandwich in his right hand. Every once in a while he'd take a bite, then resume typing or scrolling. Roxy took a metal bottle out of her backpack, unscrewing the cap with a bit of effort and bringing it to her lips.

"What's that?" Dirk asked offensively, keeping his eyes on his screen. Another nonchalant bite of his sandwich.

"Water, asscake," she hissed, "wanna try?" She scowled, thrusting it towards him. He seemed to peer inside for a moment before shaking his head hesitantly. "Thought so," she muttered, finally taking a swig in a way much reminiscent of downing shots.

"You been okay lately?" Dirk asked, a hint of worry sneaking into his deep voice. He shut his laptop with a reluctant click, and finally turned towards the girl.

Staring at him, Roxy let herself relax. Just because he where giant, pointy anime shades didn't mean there was no emotion coming across. After years of spending time with him, Roxy had begun to notice the slight crease of his eyebrows or tilt of his lips that signified his worry.

Once, in a hazy state, they'd reminded her of blond caterpillars, jumping around due to different kinds of statements or events. Lingering on that thought, she allowed herself a small smile and a sigh.

"Sorry I just… haven't been getting that much sleep lately," she replied, chin resting in her open palm. She blinked, but let her eyes remain shut for a moment longer than normal. It was only somewhat of a lie. She'd been going to bed a tad bit later than usual, but it was mostly her symptoms wearing on her.

Seeming convinced, Dirk allowed himself a small smile, making Roxy's heart swell in the most heart wrenching of ways. She could still not bring herself to get over him.

He quickly looked away, though, attempting to return to his normal poker face. Confused, she turned, seeing Jane striding towards them. She sat down, waving at Dirk.

"Hi Roxy!" Jane bubbled, offering a goofy grin. She dug into her lunch, bringing out a brownie. "Anyone want this?" she questioned, eyes glancing between Roxy and Dirk.

Not thinking straight enough to realize that one should never accept random food from a prankster like Jane, Roxy grabbed the confection with a "sure". _Might as well eat something, _she thought to herself. She only noticed Dirk reaching towards her with an extremely concerned look (not bothering to hide it? What was this?) after biting down and chewing.

"What?" she asked, mouth full of brownie. She began to chew, a strange taste flooding her mouth. Roxy also began to notice Jane's shoulders rocking and her hand over her mouth, cheeks red from trying to hide her laughter.

Unable to even mutter a word, Roxy doubled over, beginning to fall off of her chair. _Oh no,_ she hissed in her head, attempting to lift herself.

Her stomach had already been on the brink, and the flavor of a disgustingly spicy brownie was causing extremely unwanted reactions within the organ. She felt the bile rising as she scrambled to stand, running towards the nearest bathroom.

As it happened, there was no time to think as she sprinted into the men's bathroom, startling quite a few male's who were currently using its facilities.

Flinging the stall door open and sparing nary a glance towards the surprised boys, she leaned over the toilet bowl and upheaved the minimal amount of food and liquids she'd had that day. Groaning, she clawed at her stomach, hoping she could just get this over with. She'd always despised puking.

BREAK

"What the hell was that!?" Dirk hissed, Jane looking quite shaken. Dirk merely looked pissed.

"I-I didn't think that would happen – I didn't really think she'd take it…" she stuttered dejectedly, looking away from Dirk's vicious glare.

"What was in that thing?" he demanded, going around the table and towards Jane.

"Some uh, Crocker Corp. hot sauce…" Jane scooted away from him ever so slightly.

"_Hot sauce?!_ You _know _she has no tolerance for spicy things. And that Crocker Corp. shit? Seriously? What were you trying to do, _poison _one of us?" Dirk's voice was becoming a shout, and Jane's gaze flicked between staring students.

"God dammit!" He did shout this time, turning and running out of the cafeteria. Jane followed after in a hurry.

He turned right, knowing the nearest bathrooms were this way. He hoped Roxy had thought about where she was going when she'd left. Some classmates who knew they were friends pointed towards the men's bathroom, and he stopped, confused.

Deciding that it was worth a shot, he went in.

Roxy heard the door slam, just as she was wiping her mouth for a second time. "Bluhhhh," she groaned, hoping it was Dirk. And there he was, her knight in shining armor, already leaning next to her and holding her hair back.

"You okay?" he whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She shook her head, throwing him a disbelieving glare. Dirk chucked and held his hands up in defense. "Hangover…?" he asked a bit more hesitantly.

"Probably the flu or something," Roxy answered with another head shake, heaving once more.

Dirk's hand brushed against her neck and she shivered slightly, grinning to herself despite the situation. The thought of his hands in her hair made her blush for a moment, before composing herself and sitting up. Flushing quickly, she hoped Dirk hadn't looked into the toilet because damn had it been nasty. Hearing her would have been enough to turn someone's stomach.

Quickly wiping her mouth with toilet paper, and any semblance of lipstick she'd had on with it, Dirk helped her to her feet. He led her out, glaring at the guys staring them down.

"Quit yer' ogglin', pricks," she hissed, sticking her tongue out before she was pulled through the door by a persistent blond.

Turning, she saw a teary eyed Jane leaning against the wall. Roxy's friend snapped her head up at the sound of them exiting, quickly dabbing at her eyes with a sleeve. Roxy walked towards her, smiling softly.

"Don't worry about it, Janey," she said, patting the shorter girl's head. "Shit happens, you know how it is."

Smiling, Jane launched herself into a hug, apologizing nonetheless. Dirk stood back, watching Roxy in her natural state as comforter. She was always so calm, he thought, remembering many occasions where she had been the unbreakable rock that kept their small group grounded. The quiet, ever present glue holding them together.

No matter what happened, Roxy had put others before herself, making sure to right everyone else's wrongs.


	4. Chapter 4

Dancing back and forth, Roxy hummed, her heart thumping to the music blasting throughout her large, isolated house. Newly painted fingers gripping the handle of a vaccum, she jumped across her living room, shout-singing to songs set on shuffle.

Finally finishing and wrapping the cord around the pegs on the back of the vaccum, Roxy surveyed her environment with a large grin. Everything was spotless and squeaky clean, as well as it should be, after spending (arguably) three hours cleaning and fixing up her house.

Because today was the anniversary of the day Roxy clawed her way out of the womb. She was sure her mom would agree with the exaggration.

Speaking of, the reason Roxy was so keen to tidy up was because this was one of the rare occasions her mom was visiting. Depsite the passive aggressive quips the two were so fond of sending each other's way, it was all in good fun. Mostly.

Nonetheless, Roxy was excited to see her after a good month or so living practically solo. It was usually dealable with her friends visiting so often, especially Dirk. He'd, even knowing he could just come in, take the most ironic route by throwing rocks at her bedroom windows. If that didn't work, he'd monkey his way up anways. Ironicly clichéd or not, Roxy adored it.

In that past month, it was only Jane who bothered to make regular check up visits on Roxy. And Jane was also facing her own emotional trauma after sacrificing Jake to Dirk, so the most they could do was roll around whining in Roxy's plushified room, specifically her mound of teddy-cats.

Cats, she thought Cats were great. Fantastic even. Another cause for excitement was because this was the night Roxy would ask her mother for a cat. Even being out of the house most of the time, she was always reluctant to buy one, always giving different excuses against it. But it was her sweet 17, god dammit!

She hadn't had the chance to see her mother the year before, when her conventional "sweet 16" would have taken place. Not like she wanted any of that crap anyways; the only people she could imagine spending it with were here 3 bffsies, her mom, and maybe the cute little freshman named Jade that she loved to have paintball matches with every week. Roxy had the feeling little Jade might be kind of awkward around her friends, though; all juniors just like her.

Her friends had surprised her with a party anyways, wearing fancy clothes; Dirk's idea, of course. They got her to wear a long, purple ball gown, topped off with a crown. They then danced in her living room until the next day, and Roxy would be lying if she said she was dissapointed she didn't drink, since it allowed her to remember one of the best nights of her life.

Last year, though, there was a severe lack of Mom Lalonde, and this year Roxy's mother promised to make up for it by spending the entire weekend with her daughter.

The promised time of arrival was 6 PM, and Roxy stared at the hands of her analog clock, pointing to a 5 and a 47, anxiously.

Sitting on the couch and flipping through channels, Roxy admired her nails, scowling at her right hand, which wasn't quite as admirable as the left.

* * *

And so she waited.

* * *

And then it was 6.

* * *

So she waited.

She went to her room and waited, killing time writing some ~.ATH programs.

* * *

And then it was 7.

So she grabbed the phone to dial her mom's cell number, to no avail. She called every 10 minutes. And she never got an answer.

* * *

And then it was 8, and Roxy was angry.

* * *

By the time it was 8:30, the last few glass items scattered throughout the household were lying on the kitchen floor in a broken mess. In a fit of rage, Roxy opened the newly replenished wine cabinet, nearly breaking the door off of its hinges.

And before she knew it, there was alcohol in her veins and vomit in her throat.

* * *

Slumped against the wall near the bathroom, Roxy sobbed dryly, glaring at the still-full bottle in her left hand. She glared at her finely manicured nails now, angry at them, furious at the effort put into them and pissed at the world. As an almost reflexive action, she quickly tapped in a number into her phone she'd drilled into her heart centuries ago. Dialing and holding it barely up to her ear, she was surprised when her favorite masculine voice answered with a, "Hey Roxy."

Realizing she'd just called Dirk at a moment where she wouldn't, couldn't talk to anyone, Roxy flung her phone across the room, a gasp catching in the back of her throat. The anger returned even worse than before as she smashed the bottle against the wall, soaking the soft, white carpet and herself in a fine, red wine.

Her mother wasn't there very often, but she was never late to a predetermined meeting. If she was going to dissappoint Roxy, she didn't have to do it like this. What happened to letting her down easy? Had she forgotten about her daughter, and the birthday she was about to be celebrating?

The blonde sat for a long time fighting against tears, until a knock was heard at the door. A wave of anxious relief washed over her as she leaped up, sprinting to see if her mother had finally arrived, late for some unknown reason.

She'd forgotten about the glass, though, and the next thing she knew, there were way to many shades of red splattered across her body.

She didn't even notice the lock burst off of the door and the thuds leading up to it, until one of her best friends and love interest leaped into the room, head flipping back and forth wildly until his shaded eyes landed on Roxy. His mouth parted slightly and eyebrows knit intensely after spotting her. She was leaned against the wall, clutching at the bloody side of her foot, eyes twitching and worrying at her lip as she kept on resisting tears.

"Good God, Roxy, what happened?!" Dirk shouted, bounding over and leaning over her, hands hovering hesitantly.

"Oh my God," Roxy muttered, gripping her bleeding foot, "oh my God."

"What, what's wrong? What happened? Where do you keep your first aid stuff?" he rambled, biting his lip worriedly. Through the pain and the stormfront of emotions passing through her mind, Roxy couldn't help but revel in the moment.

"Oh my God," she repeated, "don't go in the kitchen."

Despite the moment, Dirk began to chuckle, laughing breathlessly, laughing hard, until he was tearing up and decided to remove his glasses to wipe his pretty orbs.

Roxy's own smile faded, replaced with an expression of confusion, finally replaced with surprise and disbelief when Dirk grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her in for an all encompassing bear hug. His laughter felt more like quiet sobs at this point, and, despite the need to reciprocate, Roxy was too busy attempting to stem the bleeding with both hands to return the hug.

"Jesus _fucking _Christ, Roxanne Lalonde. I was so god damned worried."

"Holy shit Dirk Strider, I'm fine. All I did was ass dial ya," she protested, resting her head on one large shoulder.

"That's a fucking lie and you know it. You have a flip phone and you know this is bullshit," he said, a growl leaking into his voice as he wrapped one finely toned arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders. Picking her up bridal style for the second time in her life, Roxy imagined that all the blood rushing to her head would be enough to cause the bleeding in her foot to stop.

"I heard you take a weird breath and then there was a lot of loud noises and thuds until I finally got worried and came over. And then, what do you know, I'm right at the door and I hear you scream on the inside. I thought you were really hurt, Roxy," Dirk continued, and did she hear a crack coming into his voice near the end?

It would have been impossible to tell, since at some point he'd slipped his signature shades back over his eyes, if not for the tell tale tightness at the corners of his mouth and crease in his brow.

"I was really, really fucking worried."

Roxy only stared at him, bubblegum pink eyes wide and face flushed. They looked away from each other at about the same time, Roxy choosing to stare at the slight dribble of blood on her heel instead.

"And sorry about your door," he muttered without sounding very apologetic. Before she could snap out of her embarassment and come up with some kind of witty comment, Dirk set Roxy on the edge of the bathtub. Looking into the toilet, he grimaced before flushing it and closing the lid to set her foot atop and go to work at bandaging it.

"Rough day?" Dirk asked mildly, opting to look at her instead of the barftastic content swirling down the toilet.

"I swear to God, Strider," Roxy muttered, shooting him a withering look before proceeding to rest her food onto the now closed toilet.

Despite the fuss that was made, the cut wasn't too deep and luckily there was no need for stitches. Dirk silently bandaged it, focused the whole time.

"You didn't have to come, you know," Roxy mumbled, reflecting on the slip up that had let to this point in time.

"Of course I had to come, Roxy. You almost never worry me, so when you do, I know something is up. Anyways, what _is _up?" Dirk questioned, finishing his work and cleaning any blood off of his hands.

As Roxy explained the situation, Dirk listened, nodding silently from time to time to encourage her to go on.

"I'm sorry, Dirk, I just... I was so excited, you know? I haven't seen her in ages and I was gonna spend my entire birthday weekend with her. And it may seem like I overreacted but I was just so dissappointed," she mumbled, pink eyes darting to the side as she blinked back tears, still refusing to let them fall.

"Actually, I do know," Dirk said bitterly, gloved hands balling into fists. His injured blonde friend realized he must be talking about his movie star brother who was also almost never home.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dirky... I forgot we were kinda in the same boat," she apologized, offering a sheepish smile.

"All the more reason to have nothing to be sorry about."

With that, Dirk swooped her up, bridal style once more, and brought her to her bedroom.

"I'll clean up the crap in the kitchen. It's probably best you just sleep, and I'll wake you if your mom ever does show up," he ensured her, not even breaking a sweat as he carried her up the staircase.

"O-Okay," Roxy stuttered, wishing she wasn't the only one feeling the "heat of the moment". If he did this one more time she'd just go ahead and faint.

Hearing the stutter, the man glanced her way. Had be been holding her too tightly? About to ask, his voice caught in his throat when he looked at her eyes. The pink was more of a magenta now, in the dark, and they were rounded as they gazed up at him, like doe eyes. There was a slight hint of deep crimson spreading across the bridge of her nose and the tips of her ears. He'd never seen her look so... vulnerable.

Stopping in his tracks, Dirk simply stared at her for a second, realizing that the last wall of defense Roxy had lined up had finally shattered. He realized that Roxy making that call was _not _indeed a mistake like she made it out to be, but a silent cry for help. The back of his neck was beginning to burn, and Dirk's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. This was a feeling he'd had before, but not specifically for Roxy.

At a loss of how to go about understanding this new development, Roxy tugged at his orage shirt, eyes flicking away from him for a moment. "What's wrong?" she asked, returning his gaze once more with those sunset colored eyes.

Snapping out of his reverie, Dirk continued towards her room, supplying a, "Nothing," before placing her gently in her bed. Before she let go all the way, though, she wrapped two pale arms around his neck. So thin, and brittle, he thought, especially compared to his own. Though he knew better than to think her a weakling.

"Thank you, Dirk," she whispered, the sound drifting to his ear like soft rain, as her hands balled into fists on the back of his shirt.

"Don't mention it, Rox," he answered, allowing himself a grin that she could not see.

Just as quickly as she'd hugged him, she let go, allowing herself to fall onto the bed with a smile. She was slowly bringing that wall up again, but not totally. There would now be a way to climb over and get to the castle that was the small blonde's heart.

Tucking her in in the most childish of ways for maximum irony, he kissed her head and asked if she wanted him to read her a story. Shaking her head with a laugh, she told him to get the hell out before he had to sing her to sleep.

"Goodnight, _princess,_" Dirk wished her, switching the light off. "And I'm proud of you for not drinking."

After a few steps down the hall, he heard the return of, "Goodnight, my knight in shining armor," with only a hint of sarcasm.

Sweeping the glass off the floor would have been easy if he weren't so distracted. Dirk sighed, finally finishing and double bagging all of the remaining pieces. He wondered about what had happened before, as he tied the garbage bag together and brought it outside. He wasn't 100% sure about what had happened, which was unusual for him, and so he decided he'd wait it out and see what became of it before he would start worrying or acting however the according action would go.

Instead deciding to face the current predicament with Roxy's mother, Dirk decided the group of friends would have to move forward with their plans ahead of time.

Unlocking his phone with a sigh, Dirk typed in a number he hadn't bothered to type in these last few days.

"Jake?" he asked when it sounded as if the other line had been received.

"Yes, yes I know you're fed up with me right now, and I'm sorry about that. But we're gonna have to move Roxy's party to tomorrow."

"I know, we're gonna be up all night. And no, her mom isn't here, and for various reasons she's upset and needs cheering up. Alright. Yeah. ...I'll see you soon,"

Feeling a little awkward about the whole conversation, Dirk sighed and decided he'd get started on preperations.


End file.
